


Wacky Wakers

by solunvar



Category: Harry Potter - Fandom
Genre: Crack, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-09-09
Updated: 2008-09-09
Packaged: 2017-10-21 18:49:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,119
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/228455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/solunvar/pseuds/solunvar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An invention too many for Fred and George Weasley proves to have an interesting effect in combination with the Boy-Who-Lived.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wacky Wakers

**Hogwarts, Gryffindor Common Room -** **Fifth Year, Easter Holidays**

"Harry, my man," George Weasley addressed Harry Potter that Friday night, "you know how we're grateful for your donation, don't you?"

"Yeah?" murmured the fifteen year old, "what about it?"

"We were just wondering whether you're interested in something we made, it's a bit like our Skiving Snackboxes only it gives you a boost of energy for a couple of hours. Very useful when you've got a test, examination or end up somewhere you don't want to be and are too tired to do something about it."

Harry's eyebrows rose. With his O.W.L.s coming up, something like that would come in handy. "What do you call them?"

"Wacky Wakers. We're not selling them immediately, as they're only in the experimental phase. The main effect is there, we only need to make some of the side-effects away."

He glanced at the bag of shiny yellow beans in Fred's hands. Well, they looked like beans. "What are the side-effects?"

"I lifted two beds at the same time when I took one," said Fred.

George looked a bit embarrassed. "I er... spontaneously started doing a striptease. Just when McGonagall entered the classroom we were in."

"Oh," blushed the younger wizard. "Did she see... a lot?"

George's cheeks reddened. "She complemented my you-know-what." He shuddered. "Said I had some fine crown jewels. Then she gave me detention."

Trying not to think too much about one of the twins stripping in front of him lest his mounting desire distracted him too much, he continued their original subject. "So the side-effects depend on the person?"

Fred nodded. "You could try one and see what your side-effect is."

"I think...that... er... maybe we should do it elsewhere. I don't want Colin to take pictures of me when I'm doing something embarrassing."

Wiggling their eyes, they asked in unison: "What's wrong with Colin?"

Harry frowned at them. "He's young and he's blond. Blond reminds me too much of Malfoy. And I prefer riper men."

"Is there anybody in your dorm at the moment?" suggested George.

He rolled his eyes. "Ron is doing 'Prefect duties' with Hermione. Seamus, Dean and Neville are behind you talking about the wonders of the female body."

"Ron and Hermione, eh? You don't have any problems with that?" George inquired.

"I think Hermione could do better than Ron, but that's not my decision to make. Not that he isn't a good friend, but he likes the simple life. Hermione prefers her sophisticated, slightly snobbish ways." He shrugged. "As long as they're happy I suppose."

They made their way, discretely, to the male fifth year's dormitory. When the twins saw the inside, they couldn't help but point at Ron's bed.

"Let me guess, our brother's bed? Merlin, he's even messier than us."

They sat out of safety measures on Harry's bed, the smaller boy sandwiched between the two Weasleys. Almost reverently, Fred took a Wacky Waker out of the bag, dropping it in the cupped palm of their silent partner's hand.

On seeing the other's hesitation, Fred reassured him, saying: "Don't worry about what could happen, what happens here, stays here."

Nodding, Harry opened his mouth and swallowed the bean in one go, like he did with most Potions. The effect was instantaneous, a lazy smile gracing their subject's face, his expression relaxed.

"That's strange," commented Fred as George waved his hand in front of Harry's eyes.

"I would even say, my dear brother, that's quite peculiar."

"Extraordinary."

"Maybe we should rename them?"

"I don't know, this might only be some kind of transition between normal and superactive."

"You know, I've always hated those curtains," Harry spoke up, raising his hand. "I don't like red."

The twins looked at said curtains, their eyebrows furrowing when they saw the curtains weren't red anymore, but navy blue.

"You know what I don't like either?" A giggle came from the Boy-Who-Lived. "Um-Um-Um...The High Quiztart! I don't like her, she's ugly." He roared with laughter. "So ugly!"

"Definitely unusual," concluded George. "It's like he drank a whole bottle of Firewhiskey... I wish I had his reaction."

"Sometimes I get sick in Defense, just because I have to look at her... She should go, like getting launched from a canon straight to Fudgypudgy's office."

A loud bang attracted them, so they rushed to the window, right in time to see their High Inquisitor flying straight out of Hogwarts. On the roof of the castle, Fat Wilma, the one and only magical canon in this part of the world was smoking from just being used.

Fred looked at George. "Wicked!"

They turned around, only for them to see a completely naked Harry Potter walking in their direction.

"I'm an orphan. I was never loved. Love me."

They regarded the scene with incredulous looks.

Fred scratched at the back of his head. "This is awkward."

George looked the younger boy in the eye. "Look, Harry, it's not that we wouldn't want you, it's that well... We don't want to take advantage of you right now."

The lazy smile was back. "Take advantage of me? Wonderful idea." Having said that, his robes miraculously reappeared to cover his body. He tilted his head, frowning. "Well, not Dumbledore or Snape or Fudge or Voldemort or any of those. They're old. And ugly!" A contemplative expression. "Maybe Sirius? But Sirius is thin and sick and will have an heart attack if he ever gets an orgasm."

"Fred, I know we've done some crazy stuff before-"

"but this is really crazy," completed the other.

"I wonder if Sirius has a son we've never heard about, then he could take advantage of me?"

All of a sudden Dobby the house-elf popped in, shouting: "Mr Great and Most Powerful Harry Potter Sir, Dobby has found your consort!"

A lazy happy smile was directed at the house-elf. "Thank you Dobby, you're the best house-elf. Can you bring him to me?"

Dobby nodded, not realizing how dozens upon dozens of house-elves started popping in and bowing to him, before he disappeared. When he came back, a handsome boy with Black features that seemed to be the twins' age accompanied the house-elf.

The twins, seeing how that one Wacky Waker affected the world around him in the hands of their silent partner, closed the bag with the rest and made their way out of the dormitory before the seasons suddenly started to change or the moon got a different color or anything frightening like that.

When they closed the door, they leaned against it in relief.

"George?"

"Fred?"

"Let's not do that again."

Fred nodded in agreement. "House-elves worshiping a house-elf." He shook his head. "It's not right." ****


End file.
